Paradise

June 6th. FGA Ipoh. 6.30 pm

I wonder....

I wonder what my boss will say if I told him that I can't finish my work coz my dog ate my laptop?

Haha. Which makes me wonder, if my dog ate up my laptop, what will his poo look like? Will it be square like the laptop? Or will his poo be silver, like my laptop's color. Hmmm.

dentist dentist dentist!

So I finally went to THE DENTIST! after one week of agonizing over whether to go or not. Hah. In the end I went coz mom MADE me go. I had ABSOLUTELY NO CHOICE. She said "Go dentist! Otherwise I'll pull your tooth out for you myself! I use plyar wan ar!!!!" So i went... But please note that I'd rather live with the agony of my upper wisdom tooth grinding on my lower gums than go visit THE DENTIST! if it were my choice.

Yeah, I had to remove my third wisdom tooth. Last two I took out last year. Or the year before last. Anyway, I went into THE DENTIST!'s room expecting my usual dentist to be the one taking my tooth out. But to my horror, it was a different dentist! WAHHHH! And she was like, hmmm. I don't think I can fit the thing in to take the tooth out. Hmm.. wait ar, let me see what to do.

Wahhhhh! I panic gilar! HOW HOW HOW! My eyes also filled with tears already la! hahahahah. So I requested (very politely of course) for my usual dentist. Thank goodness He was just outside doing some paperwork or something. Then he came in. And the following conversation took place...

THE DENTIST! : Ooohh. It's you ar?
Me: Heheh. Ya.
THE DENTIST! : Let's see what's the problem here. Open mouth.
Me: Arhhhh (sound of opening mouth)
THE DENTIST! : Ahh.. simple only. Let's take it out.
Me in my heart: Phew!
Dentist takes out evil looking apparatus, fits it into my mouth, and starts to pull.
Me: AARRHHHHH (Sound of pain)
THE DENTIST : (while still pulling) So Mindy, if I die how?
Me: Aarrhhhhhhhhhhuh?!
THE DENTIST : What will you do if I die? Then you no more dentist you know.
Me: Oh. Uh. Erm. Don't go dentist anymore lo.
THE DENTIST : *Sigh* I'll try not to die yet.
Me: !?

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Entry from a sinner's diary

A little something I wrote for the church megazine. Heh. The mag is not out yet, so the copyright still mine right. hahaha. Actually I cannot tahan la, just wanna put it up here. Enjoy!

Entry from a sinner's diary

I’d heard that He was in town. Everyone was talking about it. He’d even been invited to Simon’s for dinner! Simon’s! Imagine that! People from every corner of the earth seemed to be spilling on the town streets, dressed in every color conceivable to mankind – women with outrageous hats, women without hair to wear outrageous hats, men with their double breasted suits, men without slippers, children with parents and children without – all were out to catch a glimpse of Him. Some of them spoke of His arrival with joyous celebration, others with suspicious whispers. As I trudged the streets home after another hard day, I realized for once that no one was staring at me. For once, no one was looking at me with hatred, someone else occupied their thoughts. Grateful, I hurried home.

But He was in town! How could I go home? I really wanted to see Him. Hearing all the stories about Him made me excited. There was something about this person, and it was as if there was a magnet, slowly, but surely, drawing me to Him. I wanted to go to Simon’s, even if I had to face the unforgiving eyes of all who were there. But what would He think of me? After all, someone would have told Him about the worst sinner in town. If they hadn’t told Him about me, they would, surely, the minute they saw me.

I deserved the treatment I got from them. It was justice. After all, I was a bad person and I had done things. Unspeakable things. Things I wish I hadn’t done, because there was nothing I could do to correct them. I was a sinner. I was bad. I knew it, and everyone else knew it.

But still, I wanted to meet Him. Why? Why?! I yelled in my head. It’d be the same. He’d find out bout what I did, who I was, truly, deep down inside. He’d know, he’d know for sure. Still, there was something about this man. Perhaps, if I brought a gift, I thought. Not just any gift, but the most expensive thing that I had. He deserved the most, the best that I could give. I’d go early, and leave early, before the crowds arrived.

So I went, early, with my gift, a large jar of the most expensive perfume, my most prized possession. With every step to Simon’s house I struggled with my thoughts. It wasn’t just stupid to face the whole town to see this man, it was insane! Still, I had to see Him. He was pulling me towards Him, and I realized at that moment that I not only wanted to see Him. For some reason, I needed to.

I arrived at Simon’s house. Already there were more people that Simon’s house could contain. And they stared. What is she doing here? I could here them whisper. He wouldn’t want to see her! Tell her to get lost!

No. No, I whispered to myself. You’ve come this far. Just keep walking. You will get in. You will see Him. You will meet Him.

And there He was. He was just a few feet away, reclining at the table, His back toward me. Every cell in my body told me to run. But there it was again. The unexplainable pull. And as I got nearer, I was overcome with emotion. There was something about this man that I just couldn’t put my finger on.

Then, I was right behind Him, and I couldn’t hold all the emotions in anymore. For the first time after a long, long while, I wept. I wept till his feet was washed with my tears, and I knelt down beside Him. I dried His feet with my hair, and anointed them with the perfume that I had brought.

In the midst of all I was doing, I was suddenly aware of His hand on my shoulder. My heart stopped. I was afraid. How could I, a sinner, come up to this man, and do what I just did? It was unthinkable! I didn’t have to look at the faces of the people round me to know what they were thinking. Oh… what did I just do?

Then the most unexpected happened. He lifted my face to look into His. And as He looked right into me with the most caring pair of eyes, He said the most loving, most wonderful thing that I could ever have hoped to hear. He said to me “My daughter, I forgive you. Go home in peace, for your faith has saved you”.

In that instant, I knew exactly what was so different about this man. I knew, without a doubt in my heart, what drew me towards Him. He offered me something that I didn’t deserve, and he offered it without condition.

He offered me grace.

An adaptation of Luke 7 v 36-50

So. Not. Emo. hahahah

Wah. lately the posts in this blog getting more and more emo la. Haha. No la, I'm not an emo person ok...Although ESTHER GOH says that the room in Adelaide that's waiting for me is most suitable for me coz its got black carpeting. So Black = Emo la.... But to me, Black = no need to vacuum! Coz cannot see the dirt! Muahahahaha (evil laugther sound track).


So, since like so many emo posts already, I shall try and make this a not so emo post. Haha. Hmm let's see if I have any thing funny to report. Oh yea... I have a new best friend! His name is Micheal Yoong aka Burger Boy. I think he's annouced to the whole world that I'm his best friend. Hahaha. Cute. I shall go eat burgers for him today. Not with him, mind you, for him. Hehe *grinz*


Ohhhh. And I got two more new friends. BUBBLES and BUM BUM! I MUST GO GET THEIR PICTURES. Arrgghhh! It's just so not possible that they're so incredibally adorable. They're puppies lar. Boy and girl. Girl is Bubbles. Coz she's fun. Boy is Bum Bum. Coz he's lazy. Haha. I love bubbles, I love bum bum (the dog, not the backside). Bubbles and bum bum. Bubbles and bum bum. Bum Bum and bubbles.

Samson escape artist la! Everyday watching for chance to escape from the front door. Hahah today he escaped and went running like mad dog on the road. With the tongue hanging out from the side of his mouth. Gilar. haha Then must catch him.

Hahaha. PARADISE (the movie that is) IS COMPLETED. Come and watch the whole thing on the 6th of June!

Boy, I really need to put pictures up. But malas la. Have to go cari the pictures then wait for it to load... so longgggggg. Well. see how la. lol. Always promise pictures, but never post pictures. haha. Wait la, must go and curi pictures from people first.

Hmm.. nothing much seems to be happening now. Oh ya. except that I went for the dance practice. Not to dancela doink, to see how the dance preparations were coming along for the infuse anniversary. Haiyo. hahaha. the guys ar....They dancing like toufu la! TOUFU! got one worst than toufu. tou fu fah. and another one. chow tou fu. But the girl dancers were ok. They were not toufu. If they dance like that on that day ar, I will bring toufu to throw at them. Lem pek pek punya toufu. muahahaha

OK la. I shall be back posting later. This post is to show you that I'm not emo only. Hahah and that i'm alive.

I'm a pirate. Yohoho and a bottle of rum. Bring me one noggin of rum, now, won't ya, matey. Or I'll be making yer walk the plank to davy jones' locker... Savvy?

When You seem so far away

What does one do when God seems so far away that tears not only don't matter anymore, they just don't come?

I struggled the past two months. I struggled with work, I struggled with some things happening around me, I struggled to understand others, I struggled to allow others to understand me. I battled with myself. I struggled with faith, I struggled with God. I wanted to crash my car, drive it into the lampost and over the flyover. It took all my will power not to burst into tears during dinner. My energy was sapped, I was exhausted - physically, mentally, emotionally.

Things got a little better, but I'm struggling again. As I'm typing this, I feel numb. Blank. If my emotions were hooked up to a heart monitor you'll probably hear the long unending Tooooottttttt of the monitor when it can't sense the heart beating anymore. Hah. So drama.

But yes, I struggled, and I'm still struggling. I call and call, prayer upon prayer whispered in the middle of the night and all I get is silence. I remember the first line to the song Totally You - "I'm overwhelmed when silence speaks".

I'm overwhelmed. Numb. Blank. I don't know what to do. I ask You why You seem so far away. I ask myself why You seem so far away. And silence speaks. Numb. Blank.

Why do You seem so far away? Why? I know You love me. I know You'll never leave me, never forsake me. So how come the silence? Why aren't You saying anything?

Then today I found this song. And I couldn't help the tears when I heard it

Steven Curtis Chapman
Sometimes He Comes In The Clouds

These are the places I was so sure I'd find Him
I've looked in the pages
And I've looked down on my knees
I've lifted my eyes in expectation
To see the sun still refusing to shine, but...

[Chorus:]Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and greyBut some things can only be known
And sometimes our faith can only growIf we can't see
So sometimes He comes in the clouds

Sometimes I see me, a sailor out on the ocean
So brave and so sure as long as the skies are clear
But when the clouds start to gather I watch my faith turn to fear, but...

Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and greyBut some things can only be known
And sometimes our faith can only grow If we can't see

Sometimes He comes in the rain
And we question the pain
And wonder why God can seem so far away
But time will show us
He was right there with us, and...
Sometimes He comes in the clouds
Sometimes His face cannot be found
Sometimes the sky is dark and grey
But some things can only be known
And sometimes our faith can only growWhen we can't see
So sometimes He comes in the clouds

And then I read this verse - In Him we live, and move, and have our being. And I know that He's with me every step of the way. Even when all I hear is silence, He is with me.

I'm still struggling. But now, I know I'll be ok. His love is steadfast. Things will be better tomorrow.

PARADISE

In conjunction with Infuse's first year anniversary, a video is being filmed to celebrate this momentous event. Have a look at the teaser to 'Paradise'........



Awesome.. wanna see more ah? Come for the premier la. Infuse anniversary on the 6th of June. hehehehehhe. .